Why on Earth Am I Starting a Garden?

(Spoiler: I Have No Clue What I’m Doing)

If you had told me a year ago that I would be standing in my backyard covered in actual mud, reading the back of seed packets like they’re a thrilling mystery novel, I would have laughed out loud. My life is usually a fast-moving blur of screens, editing posts, typing out ideas, and running around after the kids. It’s a beautiful life, don’t get me wrong, but lately, my brain has felt completely fried. I was tired of passwords, tired of algorithms, and tired of the constant noise in my head.

One day, I was standing by my kitchen window, watching the snow melt away, leaving my evergreen grasses covering 90% of my backyard. Then I realized I was spending all my energy taking care of everyone else’s schedules and completely forgetting to give my own mind a place to just breathe. My yard looked so green; it wasn’t too bad, but I wanted to add some mixed colours to brighten it up. So, I started thinking about adding some colourful flowers, like tulips, petunias, and daisies, and maybe a few pansies. I could already picture how vibrant everything would look in the spring. I felt excited about my little project and looked forward to seeing my yard come to life!

One truth about me is that I have zero knowledge about gardening. I only have some experience from my teenage years, when my friend Dories (may her soul rest in peace) and I used to garden in our yards. I remember we would compete to see whose garden looked better, that’s all.

I am the definition of a beginner and also a plant killer. I don’t know the scientific names of plants, and I’m not very good at keeping indoor plants alive for more than a month. But I felt a sudden, desperate urge to go outside and do something real, other than scrawling on my phone for hours. I wanted to see if I could actually grow something from a tiny seed, and more than anything, I wanted a place of total peace where I could just turn off my brain and escape for a moment.

No Perfection Allowed

When I told a few people I was going to turn my balcony and my part of the backyard grass into a garden, the first question was usually: “Do you actually have time for that?” Look, I’m a busy working mom and full-time student. Time is something I never have enough of. But I realized this couldn’t be another stressful chore on my to-do list. If I approached it like a job or like some school project, I’d fail before I even started.

I promised myself right from Day One that this garden does not have to look like a picture-perfect magazine spread. It doesn’t need to be pristine or flawless. It is allowed to be a little messy, a little chaotic, and completely experimental. This is my space to screw up, learn, and have fun. If a plant dies, it dies. We learn, and we try again.

The Real Goal

My plan was to create a colorful vibe. I love flowers like soft pink petunias mixed with purple and white, as they make me feel calm. I wanted those colors on my balcony and in the backyard to brighten up the plain green grass.

I didn’t create a detailed plan. I can’t sketch a landscape design! I just got some plastic pots, soil, and seed packets from the superstore that looked nice.

This series will be a completely honest, unfiltered journal of my gardening season. No filtered perfection here, just a busy mom trying to figure out how to grow a vegetable patch and some flowers while keeping her kids alive and her sanity intact. It’s going to be muddy, it’s probably going to be a bit clumsy, but it’s going to be mine.

Let’s Keep It Real

• Are you a fellow plant killer who secretly wants to try growing something this year?
• What’s the one project you’ve been putting off because you’re scared of making a mess?
• Let me know in the comments below! Let’s embrace the mess together.